"Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better." Ed Wood

Yes I did rent it tonight. Yes it was terrible. Not 'In Gods Hands' terrible, but the straight to DVD movie was bad. Here is the review from LA Weekly

"Lacking even the train-wreck appeal of a brainless stoner comedy like "Half-Baked," Surfer, Dude is a numbing experience at just 89 minutes. "

Why can't they make a movie with surfing in it that does not suck? As Clint Eastwood said about 'The Good the Bad and the Ugly'; "We spent 32 million dollars, with that kind of money we could have invaded a country"

The history of bad surf films is paved with good intentions and bad reviews.

I waited in line for Big Wednesday. Yes it was bad. The worse part of this was that it was a John Milus Film. Come on John! He was the guy that took Conrads 'The Heart of Darkness' and turned it into 'Apocalypse Now'. On my top 5 favorite films.

Here is the trailer for Big Wednesday.



Apocalypse Now opened on the same day in Northern California as Big Wednesday. Yes I did take a date to Big Wednesday and tried to convine her that at I was like the William Katt Character..At the end of this movie I felt the same embarrassment as I did making my wife sit through 'The Lords of Dogtown'.

Growing up in Venice sucked and here it was in technocolor with a bad script.


One day we will get it right. But I will leave you with a movie that I did stand on line for. We left school about noon on Friday in Grade School to see one of the best movies ever.

I got to see 5 Summer Stories on opening night at the Santa Monica Civic.

Rule #21 paddling out; when caught inside don't try to out paddle the surfer on the wave.

Today I think I got a speeding ticket from one of those Big Brother Camera Light thingies on the corner of Leucadia and El Camino. It reminds me of the paddle out etiquette.

I learned this rule as a fledgling grom in Santa Cruz. This was back when the learning process for groms was more hands on and Draconian.

So here I was surfing Pleasure Point in 1974. While paddling out I was trying to out run Rumples Uncle.....quick story

Me at Pleasure's Circa 74

There were two guys with long white beards that surfed Pleasure Point at the time. We did not know their names so we quickly named them Rumpelstiltskin and Rumples Uncle. Rumpelstiltskin was said to have been recently released from the Carrillo the state mental hospital. We didn't doubt the rumor because he spent most of his sessions talking to himself and singing. He rode a kneeboard which was still popular in the 70's for reasons I still don't understand, but although he looked crazy, he seemed happy with himself and friendly.

Rumple's Uncle was a different animal all together. He rode an early fish and was a decent surfer. He was serious and meaner than Rumpelstiltskin. Rumple's Uncle had no time for groms.... anyway back to the story.

Above: Rumple's Uncle Artist Depiction

So I am paddling out on a head high day. This was when I first started venturing into larger surf. I was trying to outrun Rumple's Uncle on a head high right peeler. I was in panic mode trying not to get hit by the wave. Although I seemingly made it through the wave before it broke, Rumple's Uncle hit me at full speed.

Me- (we are tangled up) "Sorry Man"

Rumple's Uncle- "You Maggot! ". He was face to face with me and looked scary with his eyes bright red and his long white beard like a character from The Lord of the Rings. Right about the now I wanted to be home watching cartoons and eating cookies. It was at this moment he did something that would change my approach to paddling out forever. He took his right hand and Wack! He back handed me.

Me-(surprised and voice cracking) -"Hey man ..uncool (idiom of the time)?" I wasn't sure what to say or do as I was still in a tangle with this bad German fairy tale creature.

Rumple's Uncle-(Starting to gain composure) "look kid, next time if you can't make it around the guy on the wave, you have to wait even if it means getting worked by the whitewater"

Fair enough. He didn't punch me or throw me out of the water. He was telling me that I was not the most important person in the universe, slow down, be safe, follow the rules.

Rumple's Uncle turned out to be Steve Coletta of Natural Curves surfboards. Steve no longer has a long beard and sometime around 1978 no one backhanded a kid without child protective services and 4 lawsuits. Steve is a friendly nice guy who needed to give a kid some advice. I am indebted to him for it. He still makes boards for my friend Rob Yuen.

Today if I had remembered Steve's advice, I would not be online looking for traffic school tonight.

Sometimes you have to be patient.

This week is not good for practicing surfing

It looks like Saturday morning before the next storm is our best hope for surf. This Christmas/New Years week thing just did not work out this year and I am trying to get my thoughts in order.

I surfed Cardiff with the boys this morning on my 10'4" 'Mark Martinson Crowd Elimator' and gave the SUP's a run for their money. It was fun but gutless. Like diet coke or sugar free cake it just did not get the job done. My drug of choice was stepped on one too many times.

Logan's Run Longboard Edition

It was a nice morning to cruise the neighborhood. Logan was practicing his longboarding before we hit San O' today.

I got on my bike and shot some video of Logan just cruising the long board skateboard. Check his style in the videos.

We tried to surf today

We went to San O' with the thought that the run off is mostly agricultural. I don't know what that means but I read that it is not as bad as the city run off. Well stick with the story whether it has merit or not.

The sign on entry said "many surfers are inexperienced your board can get smashed" I thought that was good.


Here is 'Old Mans' . It was straight North windswell combined with a real brown tint to the water. It is hard to play the agriculural runoff card when the waves are come directly from Orange County.

Merry Christmas....Suggestions on your reincarnation

If you could be reincarnated you would come back as one of my kids on Christmas. Longboard Skateboard

Piles of presents

Indo Boards for cross step practice

Kanvas by Katin. Is this Tshirt appropriate as a gift?

It is good to be a grom

Ghosts of Christmas Past

This was Christmas 2004. Our little spot in Leucadia was on fire with just Ed and I out in the early afternoon. Chris, Jason and crew were at the house above the cliff directing us to the set waves and shot some good footage. We did here some frustration with our surfing.

Jason Picture from The Leucadia Project

Chris from David Gray

Rule #17 Never Give Up Good Waves For The Hope Of Better Ones to Come

As we move into day 12 of bad waves I remember this day in October when David Gray shot this picture. It was a Friday and I had all day to surf, but came in early thinking Saturday would be a good surf day. It wasn't. Looking at the rain outside and the lack of waves I will remeber this rule of surfing when we get good surf again.

Is it something we said, something we did, or something we said we did?

Dear God, Jesus, Buddah, Mr Rogers (must see link Fred Rogers as Jesus ) et. al.

I am not sure what we did to make the waves so bad this holiday season. There are possibilities that I went crazy on the wetsuit thing and that might have penalized me a bit. By the way did I tell you that there is a key holder on the outside of the leg!

Well it's time to take us off the hook. The 5 day forecast is a bit scary. We are a good lot the surfers. We need a bit of a break during the break.

Now, I tell you of holding close my new wetsuit, like a long lost love.

Here I am in line like a White Trash Warrior waiting to stampede the Walmart security guard.

The line started about 9am for Surfride to open this morning. They had a 20% off Wetsuit sale today only. There were about 20 other people in line. There was a kid in front of me who was in high school waiting for his pyscho 2 wetsuit like me. He had been saving for 6 months which was pretty forward thinking for a 10th grader.


Well I was just as stoked as the kid next to me. I quickly took it home and tried it on again, pet it, looked at it and took this picture of it: Oh yea


"Life is too short to have a bad wetsuit" is was Bob Wise of Wise Surfboards in San Francisco told me when I was on my Winter Break from San Diego State back in 1980. I just received my student loan for $2500 and Bob wanted about a hundred of it...here is the math to convert the money in real dollars today:

$2500 x ((1980 bad music - new thrusters on the market) + (Beer money - price of Olympia Beer(B=Olympia))/ College + Tuition $250 per semester (no kidding) (C=Fun) x future chance of graduation - job at Safeway(Future F= better get employed when graduate)) + Plus real world needs (beer money $27, Food Semester Card $75, new board $190., new wetsuit, $100) + Responsibilities (R=0) Total real dollars today =$1,764,009.03

Well I was rich at the time of course and Bob was right Life is too short for a bad wetsuit. Thank you Mary, Nick, Christie and Mary.

4:3 Situation Update

Well I am getting my new wetsuit tomorrow. I am going to get the psyho 2 Oneill. The Pantagonia thing just didn't work out. They gave up on me and any ability for them to :
A) Provide a wesuit that would actually fit me
B) Stop me from complaining that they were too expensive

But I tried on the psycho 2 (yes it is a stupid name for a wetsuit) and it was unbelievable. I am hoping to be in the water by Friday but the whole water quality, wave quality and general cold thing might hinder me.

Here is the video that Oneill put out. I guess I have to start surfing like this and listen to bad music real loud. This wetsuit might be the total change in my persona. I think I will start calling everyone by new hip nick names like 'slash' and 'core'. Maybe color my hair purple and get some death speed metal music going.

Restless

rest⋅less 
–adjective
1.
characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest: a restless mood.
2.
unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
3.
never at rest; perpetually agitated or in motion: the restless sea.
4.
without rest; without restful sleep: a restless night.
5.
unceasingly active; averse to quiet or inaction, as persons: a restless crowd.
Origin: bef. 1000; ME restles, OE restlēas. See active, agitated, antsy*, anxious, bundle of nerves, bustling, changeable, disturbed, edgy, fidgeting, fidgety, fitful, footloose*, fretful, hurried, ill at ease, inconstant, intermittent, irresolute, itchy*, jumpy, nervous, nomadic, on edge, perturbed, restive, roving, sleepless, spasmodic, strung out, tossing and turning, transient, troubled, turbulent, uneasy, unpeaceful, unquiet, unrestful, unruly, unsettled, unstable, unsteady, wandering, worried

> Well at least were not groms.

A Tony Hawk Christmas Story

I went to the Goodwill drop off today. You know the one where you dump off the crap that won't go in the garbage or the bad clothes from 1992 you might get a tax receipt from.

In one of the containers there are all the boat anchor computer monitors. As I looked in I noticed that there were several flat screen monitors. I asked one of the goodwill guys about the monitors (mostly because I wanted one). He goes on to tell me that they were from Tony Hawk.

Not only did Tony drop off the flat screen monitors but he brought 100 brand new remote control toy cars still in boxes. He did this by himself, without the news or entourage doing this. He just quietly showed up and brought some of the coolest stuff to the crappy Goodwill drop off.

A few years ago Ed and I were surfing at white fence and we noticed some guy out who looked familiar. He demonstrated good surfing etiquette and was not a great surfer but we finally noticed that it was Tony Hawk out surfing. We didn't talk with him but he was out surfing with respect.

So I don't know Tony Hawk , but it made my day that our local action sport millionaire was out delivering cool stuff to our crappy Goodwill.

What is with these new lifeguard towers

?

"I'm not sure of much of anything these days. Maybe that's why I talk so much." ...Rober Pirsig

In my defense we have this rain issue compounded with lack of waves I can't help going back to the blog and blathering.

It was time to pull out :
'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : An Inquiry Into Values' Robert Pirsig
With all this rain and non surfing I felt I better read about Bob and son going insane on a motorcycle trip.

Pirsig talks about the need to stay rational and use down to earth examples of what needs to be done to keep moving. Maintaining your motorcycle, moving down the road from here to there. Stay with me cause here is the bridge-we have to use examples of how we will stay healthy to get past where we are (rained out and flat) and move on.

I am going to start my plan to stay within the realm of sanity for a surfer who can't surf over the next week.

1) Work Out -I have been going to the ECKE Y and working out but I am going to try to go every day until I can surf.
2) Control my true addiction....Coca Cola not that diet stuff the real good Coke Classic with enough sugar to embalm a corpse.
3) Don't be a moody prick during the holidays. I have never been much of a Christmas guy but I live in a house with 4 kids that are starting not to sleep in anticipation.
4) Read 4 good books not trash over the holidays.
5) Maybe get one of those indo board things and learn to cross foot
6) Make a good dinner for my wife.
7) Learn to do something new and start the path. This doesn't mean I can start playing Call of Duty 5 on xbox and declare victory.
8) Plan. A. Surf. Trip. For. Spring.

Summer will come back

Can't surf this week. I have to admit that after waiting for the winter to come I already am thinking about summer. Here is a David Gray pic of Lucas early summer when it was still a bit cold to skin it.

My Favorite Things

John Coltrane live at Baden-Baden Germany 1961.

Christmas sessions come soon set your ipod accordingly.

Why We Fight

Two nights ago I had this weird nighmare I was back in Venice as a 13 year old grom in the middle of an ugly fist fight with another kid. In keeping with the propaganda war theme. I thought about why we fight.


Here are some idiots fighting over the sanctity of Mathew McCoonaughey being able to surf a kooky spot in Topanga.

Thinking about it there really are noreasons I can see to fight over surfing. I did some research last night. In that I was wide awake after drinking a latte at 6:30pm, I found a Masters Thesis online "A Sociological Study of the Surfing Subculture" Stephen Hull . www.lajollasurf.org/srf_thes.html

I hope that Steve did well in life and his parents aren't too pissed off they paid for him to get a Master's Degree in Surfing. I liked it. It was cool because he did his research in 1974-1976 in Santa Cruz and interviewed the Locals.

However, the more I read on surfing and fighting, it became plain depressing. When I moved to Leucadia in 1994, I came from Northern California where you would see a fight every time you paddled out. Before Northern California I grew up in Venice CA which was the slums by the sea. The documentary Dogtown and ZBoys chronicled my youth surfing bad waves with some interesting characters in a violent surf zone.

Here is the diary of my macho local fight (less profanity) circa 1975 at 16 years old surfing '4 Mile (four miles north of Santa Cruz). I had just been cut off by a guy who was a non local:

Me- (feeling tough) "You kook get out of here"

Macho Kook- (He was in his mid thirties looking very pale) "Sorry Man"

Me- (too many of my macho local friends around) " I don't care! Your out of here"

Macho Kook- (Face still pale which is a telling sign) "OK let's take it to the beach"

Me- (making huge mistake, but hormones and Adrenalin win) "OK, paddle in"

On the beach now the dynamic changed from I am having a road rage moment to turning into a full on fight with some guy I don't know and don't care about. We are now standing face to face surrounded by my idiot friends and other dregs of society locals that surfed that spot.

Back to the pale face program, a cop will tell you that a red faced person is less of a threat than someone with a calm face. The red faced guy has peaked and the display is all he has. The guy who is calm has more chance of violence. back to the fight-----

Macho Kook-"you want to call this off"

Me-(I don't remember what I said but here is a good facsimile) "I am a complete idiot and can't let the mob down on this thing. I really want to go to the ER with a broken hand and have a black eye so I can miss three weeks of surfing with a cast"

Macho Kook- Being a grown man he is culpable. It was time for him to leave and laugh it off, but he throws the first punch at me. With my lighting quick reflexes being what they are he catches me right in the cheek bringing me down to the sand with a sharp pain and dizzy nausea.

Me- I get up quickly and have realized that I really did not want to be in this mess. Macho Kook is coming back at me for the kill. My idiot friends are screaming at me and I land a punch.

Macho Kook is Down, Macho Kook is Down!

But here is the real end of the story. I broke my hand. It hurt and I had a black eye that made me look like a serial killer. I missed the rest of the day surfing and the next three weeks of surfing. Three weeks is like 30 years when you are 16. No one wins in a fight. I could have let Macho Kook have his wave and fight someone else. I would have forgot the whole incident and had a great day surfing. Shawn Tomson in his book 'Surfer Code' http://www.surferscode.com/ talks more eloquently about avoiding a fight and how a fight he had ruined his surf experience at Rincon.

This is why I love Leucadia. The good news is that when I moved here everything changed. There are woman and families surfing. It takes the macho vibe out of the water when your Mom is out.

Victory at Sea

So we drove down to the beach this morning just to see the waves and Logan said 'it's Victory at Sea'. He was right of course but when I asked him what it means he just said blown out.

Man, he didn't know the reference to best war TV show of all time! Victory at Sea. I loved this show! I am a failure as a parent and pop culture historian. I immediately had to go to Wikipedia and YouTube.I found it and it still good. enjoy

Wikipedia: Victory at Sea was a documentary TV series about naval warfare during World War II that was originally aired by NBC in the USA in 26 half-hour segments on Sunday afternoons, starting October 26, 1952 and ending May 3, 1953. The series, which won an Emmy in 1954 as best public affairs program, played a major role in establishing historic documentaries as a viable television genre. When it first aired, NBC thought it so important that it had no commercial breaks.

We used to watch this show and it was great. I tried to find out when the expression was taken by the surf community, but there was nothing really in print until the 90's.

victory at sea -idiom
(idiom) ocean, Ocean conditions very windblown and messy, possibly to the point of being inimical to surfing and other water sports.
1995, Tom Tweed, 1/5/95 sd cali. surf 7-8' onshore slop

I remember the expression when I was a kid in the 70's and I am sure they used it from the 50's after looking at the opening segment.

I told my Minnesota friends we had a surf contest. They asked "are you going to be suntanning when your son is surfing?"

No bikini's today Minnesota friends. This is contest middle school surfing. Serious, cold, foreboding with your cred and rep on the line.

We woke up early and it was windy cold and ...well windy and cold.

Lucas is all in. He is getting ready for his first heat.

Here is his coach Mark Brolski giving some last minute instruction. Mark is a great guy who is successful and can rip surfing. They are lucky to have Mark and his wife Liz as coaches.

The horn blows twice and they are in!

Here is Lucas on his last wave with a bottom turn in this slop. He came in second and wins a berth in the Semi Finals.

Surfing is an interesting sport in that you don't need to be big to be good. Collin is about 4'5" and the best surfer at the contest.

Record high tides and storm surge.

7 schools and 100 surfers.

Waxing up for the semis.

The horn blows for the semis. I was too excited to take any pictures.

The waves were just stormy and closed out. In his semi final heat the surfers got caught inside for most of the 15 minutes. Lucas got outside and got a good wave. He was in position to take the heat but did not catch another wave.

The other surfers took whitewater reforms but Lucas did not get the memo. I was trying to call his cell phone (yes really I called maybe in my wacky state of mind I thought he had a bat phone or water proof cell that he could answer while 6 foot waves were breaking on his head).

He did well and will keep his top ten ranking for the San Diego Region.

No sleep the night before, 4 hours of cold, 31 set waves to the head, advancing to the semis. Here is the best part of coming home. 14 minutes after his shower, fast asleep.

Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well; whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself completely; in great aims and in small I have always thoroughly been in earnest- Charles Dickens from David Copperfield

Blog Envy

To my loyal readers check out the new blog. 'The Leucadia Project' http://www.theleucadiaproject.com/

Ed Lewis and David Gray really have something.

If I am the free Surfshot Magazine they are the Surfers Journal of Leucadia blogs.

Redemption

re-demp-tion
NOUN

1.an act of redeeming or the state of being redeemed.
2.deliverance; rescue.
3.Theology. deliverance from sin; salvation.
4.atonement for guilt.
5.repurchase, as of something sold.
6.paying off, as of a mortgage, bond, or note.
7.recovery by payment, as of something pledged.
8.conversion of paper money into specie.

Right when I was ready for the Homer V Bart strangle. The principal calls me to tell me Lucas won the District for the National Geography Bee.

Here is the math- Medal+Certificate+$50 gift card X (Advancement to State Finals) + Chance of 1-4 year scholarship = peace and love and happy surfing at Cardiff.

Earned session till dark. You know you love a session that was earned.

Gotta have Bob with this one

Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

Saturday surf contest and theories thereon

Saturday will be full of drama, complications and variables.

Contest at Moonlight/D Street. Home field advantage and all .

Einstein says that "Politics are more complicated than Physics" Al is obviously not competing this weekend in the ISF San Diego Middle School Contest.

Here are some of the variables this weekend:

Weather- Rain could cancel the contest if the storm hits on Saturday. FridayPatchyFogHi 67°F
FridayNightMostlyCloudyLo 50°F
SaturdaySlight ChcRainHi 63°F
SaturdayNightSlight ChcRainLo 51°F
SundayChanceRainHi 55°F

Waves- There is a big spike on the Wavewatch forecast for 10 foot waves hitting on Sunday. If the waves come early, D Street will look like.... well, D Street on a 10 foot day.

Even the most macho of all 13 year old surfers will come down with mysterious illness and maladies if they show up to D Street looking more like Waimea Shorebreak. So far Einstein's theory on complications proves wrong! The physics are much more complicated .

These kids can surf. The competition will be tough.

But wait! Lucas the ultra smart kid forgot to do his math homework and be a good citizen in PE. He now is in the paradox of having an ice cube lodged in your throat and choking. Can the ice cube melt before you choke to death. Read- can he do the extra credit in PE and ace his math test.

If he doesn't work hard on getting back up to all A's and B's he won't have to worry about a figurative choke. Physics will prevail!